Wake me up inside! “
"I have to tell you something…”
I was working, when my wife called, and from her tone of voice, I knew something bad had happened.
‘Your brother has passed.”
Driving home, thoughts run through my head. He was only 33, what had happened. My poor mother, my sister. How can I get to England to be there for them. Is this really happening?
A day later, I was on my way to England. The train, the airport, everything happened through a haze. Nothing was sinking in. When I arrived at my mothers house, I tried to sleep. I managed to get a few hours of sleep before I felt this surge of energy bursting through me. It felt like a loud vibration, and I woke up.
The world felt like it was turned upside down, a song kept playing in my head. My body felt hot, as if I had a fever. There was no way I could sleep like this, so at 3am I got up and went to the kitchen.
I felt so energised that I started cleaning the kitchen until I had the feeling that someone was standing behind me...
I felt this loving presence behind me, and even tough I had never experienced this so clearly, I was not afraid. I could feel the love. Could this be my brother? The same music kept playing in my head, it was not a song that I could place at that moment. But I felt it had something to do with my brother.
The invisible person stayed with me, he let me feel his love. Deep in my heart I was so sure, this was my brother. There was still a deep pain in me. I knew I would never be able to touch him, or talk to him. But he was with me, off that I was certain. Tears of joy and sadness welled up in my eyes. I knew beyond any doubts that life continues in a different form after we pass. Even though we had the hard task of burying his physical body, he was still with us. I wanted to share my experience with my family, but it was still so early.
The music in my head kept playing.
Wake me up... wake me up inside.
All of a sudden I felt what he was trying to tell me. This was the music that he wanted to have played at his funeral. Together with my sister I managed to find the song. The moment we found the right song, my head went quiet. The energy rush in my body stopped. Despite my sadness over his passing and knowing that my life would never be the same, it was a great consolation that I knew that he would help us in these difficult days of saying goodbye.
Jason. 2019
Evanescence: Wake me up
Note, in 2021 I did a podcast where I speak about this life changing event, the link is attached.